More Than a Diagnosis

The eleventh day of June is the most celebrated day in my family. You may wonder why such an ordinary day of summer is so special to the Coronados. It is the day we all come together to celebrate the birthday of my uncle Mike, a tradition that began long before I was born. Each June eleventh, all fifty family members and my uncle’s friends gather at his house for the big celebration.

Since I can remember, nothing about the party has changed: a dance floor, tacos made with carne asada, Luis Miguel’s music, and a giant chocolate cake baked by my grandma. Each year, all the cousins fight over the corners of the cake, as we are all convinced that the corners hold the most chocolate. Once Luis Miguel comes on the speakers, you can’t pull my uncle off the dance floor. He dances with a rhythm and energy unlike anyone I know. He always jokes that he and Luis Miguel are pretty similar: they share the same name, both dance well, and both sing beautifully. But, naturally, he says that Luis Miguel wishes he looked like him.

His joyful spirit fills the party with laughter, happiness, and a deep sense of community; no one in my family dares to miss it. It is the biggest event of the year, and that is because my uncle has become the most beloved member of our family. I am lucky enough to have him not only as an uncle but also as a godfather.

You may wonder what makes him so special, so let me tell you.

My uncle has no shame. He never feels nervous in front of large crowds because he simply does not care what others think of him. I remember one time when all my family went on a cruise in the Caribbean. Every night, we gathered in the lobby to listen to a live band. One evening, my uncle suddenly stood up and began dancing to a Spanish song he recognized. He quickly drew the attention of nearby guests, who began to clap and cheer. Then, the lead singer handed him maracas, and he danced and played along to the rhythm of the music. Soon, what began as him dancing alone turned into a full party, with family members and even strangers joining in. I was inspired by the fact that my uncle never thought about being judged, instead he simply did what he loved and invited others to share in that joy.

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My uncle loves food. He likes it so much that he associates people with his favorite dishes. For example, I am “Enchiladas” because when I was little, I would go eat enchiladas with him at a Mexican restaurant. Similarly, he has named one cousin “Tacos”, while another “Alitas”. Even my brother-in-law wasn’t spared, as he is now nicknamed “Donas”. The list goes on and on as he has assigned one specific dish to each of his nineteen nephews. As simple as it may seem, I have come to see this as a great form of love. He connects the people he cares about with the things he enjoys the most. So in a way, having a unique nickname from him is a privilege: it means you are part of the Coronado family.

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My uncle has a remarkable memory. Without effort, he can name the birthdays of the entire Coronado family, which is no small feat considering there are about fifty of us. Some time ago, he started a tradition called Cumple-Meses(Monthly birthdays). If my birthday is on May twentieth, then every twentieth day of the month I celebrate my Cumple-Meses. On those days, he calls and invites me over to his house to eat some cake. The only catch is that I must be the one to bring it. Each time I see him, he names several people who are celebrating their Cumple-Meses on that day. Sometimes, he even remembers the birthdays of some of my cousins’ ex-girlfriends from years ago. This little tradition is his way of finding a reason to celebrate every single day, and it makes me think about how he intentionally chooses his reasons to be happy.

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My uncle hates losing. He supports both of my hometown’s soccer teams, Tigres and Rayados. And whenever they play against each other in the famous Clásico Regio, he simply wears the jersey of whichever team is winning. That way, he is never disappointed with the ending result. I remember once playing a game of ping-pong against him. After a long match, I unexpectedly managed to win. I could tell he was frustrated after losing, so I teased him. He quickly countered, insisting he had let me win out of pity. We both laughed and kept playing. My relationship with him has always been easy and fun. Even though he is competitive, he never shows any anger. He is loyal to his favorite mantra, el que se enoja pierde, which means that whoever gets mad, loses.

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My uncle is endlessly curious. Whenever he meets someone new, he asks where they are having dinner. If they are eating alone, he invites them to join him at his house. Once, at a restaurant, he even invited a waiter to come over for dinner after learning he had no plans. Although the waiter declined, I was struck by how naturally my uncle welcomed others. He also often calls me just to ask about my dinner plans. If I say I have none, he immediately invites me over. Whenever I visit, my grandma always has cookies waiting. My uncle always insists I eat at least one every time I visit. I like to joke that my grandma pays him to promote those delicious cookies. But actually, for him, it is a way to make his guests feel welcomed and valued.

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My uncle loves birthdays. He loves them so much that each time he either listens to or sings a happy birthday song, he starts to cry. He cries not out of sadness, but out of joy. Birthdays greatly excite him, but spending time with the people he cares about is what he values the most. I will never forget the time when he started crying during his forty-sixth birthday. All the family was gathered around him at a table and were joyfully singing to him. No one understood why he was crying, until he later told us he was remembering his late father. He told us about how he remembered the times when my grandfather would sing to him when he was little. For the first time, I realized that even the man I saw as a superhero carried deep emotions and memories.

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My uncle has Down syndrome. But this is not what defines him. What defines him is the way he brings joy, happiness, and peace to the people around him. My grandma likes to say that his condition does not limit him, but instead empowers him to be the best that human nature has to offer. Sometimes it’s hard to understand his words, but spending time with him shows how his actions matter more. My uncle does not know what it is to judge others, to gossip, or much less be jealous. He only spends his time thinking about the things he most cares about: his family, friends and, of course, food.

Many of the friends he invites to his birthday share the same condition. There, you truly experience the uniqueness and joy they bring. Every one of them has their own traits and qualities. For example, one dresses as a cowboy, another can name every part of a car engine, and another performs magic tricks. I am always impressed by the way they all care for each other. I remember once when they were taking a group picture, and they all screamed in harmony as they realized one of their friends who was in the bathroom was missing in the picture.

My uncle met those friends through an organization called Unidos, where individuals with Down syndrome gather for activities and social events. Once per month, his group gets together at either a restaurant or someone’s house to spend time together. Over time, I have noticed that fewer of his friends have been able to show up to his parties as they have struggled with either financial or health issues. This friend group that my uncle has is one of a kind. He is lucky that my grandparents want and can afford to take him to Unidos. Knowing this, I often think about how different his life could have been under different circumstances.

Unfortunately, in Mexico, there are lots of people with Down syndrome who don’t have the opportunities that my uncle has. In 2020, a report by the organization Human Rights Watch revealed that many people with disabilities live in abusive family environments, facing neglect, isolation, and even physical harm (Ríos-Espinosa). The report contended that due to Mexico’s lack of adequate public service, individuals with disabilities are forced to depend on their families for daily survival. In many cases, those same families are the source of their suffering. This systemic failure shows how society denies people with disabilities the respect and dignity they deserve. Instead, they are left unprotected, uncared-for, and highly vulnerable. It is difficult to imagine how such a force of light and joy is subjected to isolation, unfairness, and inadequate treatment.

Every June eleventh, when I watch my uncle pull everyone onto the dance floor, I am not thinking about diagnoses or conditions. Instead, I am thinking about a man who has never once wasted a reason to celebrate, who knows every birthday in a family of fifty, who cries at happy birthday songs because he loved his father. Watching him dance, I understand exactly what my grandma meant when she said that his condition does not limit him, but instead empowers him to be the best that human nature has to offer. My uncle is defined by the way he makes every person feel like the most important one in the room. 

Author

Eduardo Coronado

Eduardo Coronado is a mechanical engineering student from Monterrey, Mexico. He has a strong interest in understanding people and the systems that shape their lives. His writing was inspired by personal experiences, particularly his relationship with his uncle, whose joy and authenticity influenced this essay. Through both his academic and personal work, Eduardo is interested in creating meaningful impact, whether through engineering, service, or human connection. He hopes to continue exploring how human experiences can challenge perceptions and highlight the dignity of every person.