“Sometimes, you just gotta eat ice cream for dinner.” The battle cry of my family. Like a marine in the field, bullets whizzing by, can be motivated to trudge onward through a simple “oorah,” the prospect of ice cream for dinner has motivated my family through the trenches. This phrase has helped my family navigate our toughest times while simultaneously reminding us of our best. When looking for just a bit more motivation to get us through the day, eating ice cream for dinner is one way to remind ourselves of the sweetness that can still exist in bitter situations. This isn’t to say that when times get tough, our natural inclination is to turn to an arbitrary treat as a consolation. Rather, eating ice cream for dinner provides us with a glimpse of a higher calling. Coined by my mother, the phrase reminds us of the simpler aspects of life. Everyone knows that dessert comes after dinner, but who decided that? And, when we do eat our dessert first, who is telling us that we then must finish our dinner? When times are tough, you have two choices. You can place arbitrary restrictions on your happiness, or you can live a little bit more carefree than you normally would.
My brother, Carter, suffers from a rare disease known as Dravet Syndrome that causes him to have seizures and the mental capacity of an infant. For his entire life, our family has been given various timetables on when Carter will die, be unable to eat, or lose the ability to walk. This, coupled with the tendency for people with his condition to experience sudden, unexpected death from epilepsy, has led our family to evaluate our priorities on multiple occasions. We have determined that while he faces the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, our sole goal is to keep him alive. From there, we can try to make sure he is happy. When you break down life in this way, a desire to survive, the world becomes a much simpler place. When you spend days living in the Pediatric ICU, sometimes you forget to brush your teeth. When you are finally able to go home with a stable child, no one cares whether or not you brushed your teeth that day. You are just happy to be going home.
Ice cream for dinner is more than just a fleeting substitute for something more filling. It is a connection. When I needed to eat ice cream for dinner, it was with people I love and care about. It has served me as a sweet prize for conquering immense challenges, a sense of comfort in defeat, and a whimsical decision made to spice things up in a simple way. Regardless of when or how it is eaten, what is important is the “who” it is eaten with. When eating ice cream with people you care about, you are forced to think about simpler times. For my family, the tradition started in 2011. Seeking to help mitigate the effects of my brother’s disease, he started on the ketogenic diet. What this meant is that my family became frequent customers of the Tomato Cafe, which had a variety of ketogenic options. The staple of these visits was the soft-serve ice cream machine, which offered a flavor selection of chocolate, vanilla, or a swirl of both. After a particularly rough week, I first had ice cream for dinner there. Today, ice cream for dinner reminds me of the quick glance my father and I give each other every time someone mentions Dairy Queen. For my sister, it is summer days by the pool trying to lick around the edges of the cone fast enough so that creamy deliciousness won’t run down her hands, making them all sticky. And, even if some drips on her, she can just cannonball right back into the pool when she is done. For my brother, who no longer has the oral motor skills to eat ice cream well, it is sipping on a milkshake after a hot day at the park. These experiences aren’t ones that are weighed down upon by the burdens of the past or the expectations of the future. You are present, with the ones you love, enjoying the simpler things in life. That is what ice cream for dinner is.
Eating ice cream for dinner isn’t the only way to find this feeling. Ultimately, being carefree is an individual choice that we make on a daily basis. If this is true, then what role does ice cream play? Living carefree is something we should do every day. Eating ice cream for dinner is not. Eating ice cream for dinner is a low-stakes option to keep in your back pocket for when you need it. Chances are, you probably already have it in your freezer. If you don’t, I am willing to bet you are a ten-minute trip from a place that can sell you a variety of flavors and types. And for those who are inclined to comment on the unhealthiness of the food, eating ice cream for dinner isn’t an endorsement of making unhealthy choices. The main negative health effects of the treat are its high sugar and dairy content. So what? It feels like everything we eat today is considered by at least someone to be unhealthy. The benefit of eating ice cream for dinner, an empowering sense of self-agency, will greatly outweigh the short-lived worry of consuming a few bad calories. In my experience, the peace I have brought to bed has been far more impactful than any guilt I might have.
Eating ice cream for dinner is a reminder of the choice that we are given. When faced with stressful scenarios, we often limit our ability to be successful. Eating ice cream for dinner is a helpful reminder that we exist outside of the situation that is currently holding us back. It has been almost meditative. It has forced me to stop what I am doing, cast off the yoke I am carrying, and experience gratitude for what I have. I have the power to make a change in my life, and ice cream for dinner is my favorite way to remind myself of that. Tonight, I think I am going to go with mint chocolate chip.
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